Thursday, September 14, 2017

Cameron Blake Tarry

Wow it has been over a year since I last posted a blog! I have about 20+ started and never finished so I am hoping to catch up! haha With Cameron's 1st birthday right around the corner I figured it is a perfect time to reflect back on his birth and finally get this blog posted! :) I apologize for the length but a lot happens over 30+ hours! haha Well enjoy!

Cameron's birth story really started Friday, October 7 when I had my second non stress test because my blood pressure kept rising and at this point I was officially diagnosed with gestational hypertension. They informed us that if my blood pressure was still around where it was earlier that week they would send me home and induce me on Tuesday Oct 11 when I was officially 37 weeks. I guess if they induce prior to 37 weeks Cam would be considered a preemie and we would have to have a ton of extra specialists and tests and higher risk of his lungs not being fully developed. Thankfully when we went on Friday, my blood pressure was still high but it didn't get into the official danger zone so we were sent home with orders to rest, no stress, and come in Tuesday Oct 11 at 9pm ready to be induced! Eek! 
Yay, all clear to go home!

Non Stress Test

I had hired a Doula, my friend Andrea Pongo, almost immediately after finding out I was pregnant and she was amazing and really was a great resource my entire pregnancy! Throughout my pregnancy we were planning on an unmedicated natural birth. I have scoliosis and both my chiropractor and my OB warned me that there is a chance, depending on who the anesthesiologist is, that I wouldn't be able to have an epidural. So I wanted to just plan not to have one. Because of that a C-section was also a huge fear of mine because I would have to be put completely under in the event I can't have an epidural. So I was ready to ride the wave!   

Now let me back up a little, my pregnancy wasn't too great. Sick majority of my pregnancy and at around 6 months on I had to see my chiropractor multiple times a week because I had really bad lower back and pelvis pain from a misaligned pelvis and too loosened of joints. Seriously so thankful to Dr Paul Brandt! He was such a huge help in keeping me somewhat comfortable and able to function! Around 7 months my blood pressure was consistently rising and I was put out of work early to attempt at reducing all stress and anything external that would add to my blood pressure problem.

 I am a major planner (insert no really, rolling eyes emoji here 😜) so I was totally fine having an induction date and time. That actually sounded great! Haha no freak out of water breaking or questioning if I was really feeling contractions! I was able to have my hairdresser wash my hair that morning and put it in two French braids so I could easily go a few days without having to deal with my hair! I was ready and super excited! After dinner Matt and I dropped the girls off at my father in laws house and made our way down to Kaiser! My mom was very cute and said she had her bags packed, brought snacks and she was ready to wait at the hospital with us haha Being that it was an induction we just had our Doula on stand by and would text her updates but will call her when we were closer to baby time! 

Oct 11 8:30pm: arrived at the hospital
We got to the hospital around 8:30pm and my blood pressure was 150/98 ugh! No one was happy to see it that high. And yeah hearing that definitely calmed me down - NOT! Haha

We arrived!

It is Go Time!!

Oct 11 11pm - induction started
When it was time to get started, I requested being induced first by using Cervidil. At around 11pm on Tues Oct 11 they gave me the cervidil. I told my Mom to go home and get sleep as nothing was going to happen tonight! She very reluctantly left.

Induction officially started!

Oct 12 11am - 1.5cm Foley Bulb Started
At my first check at 11am on Wednesday Oct 12 I was at 1.5cm and was dilated enough to progress to the Foley bulb. Holy Bajeezus - that was the most intense, worst pain I have ever experienced! The goal of the Foley bulb was to get me to 4cm... at 4cm the bulb literally falls out. So weird and omg so painful. Talk about trying to keep my high blood pressure in check - soooo didn't happen! I had about 45 minutes straight of intense cramping and contractions and then it calmed down enough for me to lay down for a little bit while we waited. Unfortunately my Mom arrived back at the hospital right in the middle of my worst part of the Foley bulb. Everyone warned us induction can take a while and be prepared to wait... we waited... and waited...  My next checkup from the nurse would be at 11pm or when the bulb fell out - whichever came first. 

Oct 12 5pm - 4cm Pitocin started
Thankfully the bulb fell out around 4pm. Matt's Mom came by after she got off work and brought us some Chick-fil-A as after I started pitocin they didn't want me to eat anymore. After i finished eating they started me on pitocin. This was when things took a not so great turn. Between the intensity of the pitocin and my already high blood pressure, Cameron started showing signs of distress. They kept having me roll from side to side and lay on my back. They ended up stopping pitocin to attempt to get my blood pressure down.

Eek time for Pitocin!

Oct 12 7pm - blood pressure now 163/105 -- not good! 
I also was shaking like crazy shortly after starting the pitocin so that wasn't very pleasant either. The doctor was expressing concerns of seizures for me because my blood pressure rose to 163/105 and more distress for Cameron so they gave me some medicine (don't remember what kind) for lowering my blood pressure and also magnesium. At this point, my doctor (who I was sooo excited was my actual OB! It happened to be her on call night) came in and told us she highly encourages me to do the epidural so they can see if my spike in blood pressure was from increased pain or if there is more complications. They sent in the anesthesiologist to assess my spine and see if he even felt comfortable placing the epidural. 

Oct 12 8pm - blood pressure now 158/98 
The nurse came in and checked my bp again and this time 158/98 so the medicine helped a little but not as much as they wanted. The likelihood of ending up in a Csection would be higher if I chose to continue without the epidural. I was really planning/hoping for an unmedicated natural birth but not at any expense of mine or Cams safety so matt and I agreed to the epidural. 

Oct 12 9pm - epidural (oh sweet relief!)
The anesthesiologist did a great job! Within just a few minutes I felt 1,000,000 times better! I finally felt like I could calm down and  the shaking finally stopped! After this the doctors wanted me to get some rest and said they started the pitocin again but would check on me in a few hours. 

Oct 13 12:48am - 5cm bp now too low
My blood pressure was finally getting better and I was feeling ok trying to get some rest when I kept beeping because Cam was in distress. They determined that he was accustomed to my high blood pressure since I had it majority of my third trimester and that by making my bp normal it made him freak out so they gave me a shot to make my bp go back up which almost instantly made Cam back to his normal. My doctor came in and told me she wanted to break my water as I was still only at 5cm and we needed to get things moving for both mine and Cams safety. She said she would come back in and check again at 2am and break my water at that time.

Oct 13 2:15am - bag of waters broken 
When Dr Calder came back in I was still only at 5.5cm so she broke my water. Wow that was weird feeling. Haha she said hopefully things will move along now and she would check back in soon. 

Oct 13 5:17am - 10 cm it's go time! 
Finally at 5:15 Dr Calder came in and checked me and I was at 10cm and she told me to let her know as soon as I felt that very different need to push feeling. Literally right after she walked out I said I think I feel it! The nurse told me she would start with us and grab the Dr when it's really time. She didn't think I was 100% ready yet. At this time I had my mom wait in the waiting room so it could just be me and matt and our Doula when she arrived.

Oct 13 6:15am - Doula arrived 
I was just starting pushing when Andrea walked in the room. Her and Matt were on either side of me trying to help me figure out my breathing and when to push. 

Side note - we were in the brand new L&D ward at Kaiser and from the minute we got into the room, every nurse that came in said "oh the monitor doesn't work?" And left. Well now that it was time to push they remembered the monitor didn't work and informed me that I would have to tell them when I felt like I needed to push as they had no way of seeing my contractions 😳

Ok continuing on, the nurse yelled out she could see Cams head and said it's time for the Dr to come in. Well in walks Dr Turner because Dr Calder was on her lunch break hahaha ugh! Oh well. I continued pushing and taking small breaks and after what felt like forever...

Oct 13 7:47am Cameron Blake Tarry is here!!
He was perfect! So much hair! I really don't remember anything other than them putting him right on me. I remember matt kissing us saying I did so good and Cam is perfect!

We are officially a family of 3!

Cutest little peanut!

Had to get a picture with our Doula, Andrea!

We chose to wait to do all measurements and everything until after our skin to skin time. 

As soon as skin to skin time ended my mom, Matt's mom, and Matt's dad came in and got to see Cam! At that point they started doing all his measurements.

Getting all checked out! 
So tiny!! 5lbs 15oz 19 3/4" long

One of my favorite pictures from that day! Our parents <3 

My mom & Cam 

Matt, his parents & Cam

Size comparison to Daddy's Hand!

And yeah, the rest is history - lots of sleep deprived yet incredible times! 

I do want to take a minute to say how I am so incredibly thankful to my amazing Hubby who was by my side all 32 hrs and 47 minutes of my labor! Throughout my entire pregnancy and postpartum journey he has been the most amazing support. Always making sure I'm eating properly, drinking plenty of water, doing all the laundry, dishes and cooking! I honestly couldn't do it without you and I'm so thankful to have you as my partner!

I love you, Hubby!

And if you actually made it this far, I hope you enjoyed following along in my labor story! Thanks for all the love and support! 

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Gender Reveal!!!

At our 12 week Drs appt we were told the plans for the next couple of doctors appointments and what to expect. She told me to expect a call to schedule our 20 week ultrasound and that would be about an hour long ultrasound to check on the status of how the baby is developing. I excitedly asked her if that is when we find out the gender (which I thought was an appropriate question) and she snapped back saying THAT IS NOT WHAT MEDICAL ULTRASOUNDS ARE FOR! 

We left that Doctors appointment pretty bummed.

I remembered a few co-workers who went to an outside company to get those 3D/4D images when they were expecting and I started googling a local company. I found My First Peek-A-Boo in Ventura and found out they schedule a gender reveal appointment as early as 14 weeks! 
Matt and I talked about it and decided to go for it! 

My graduation fell exactly when I was 15 weeks and we thought how perfect! All our friends and family would be at our house to celebrate my graduation, what a perfect time to tell everyone the gender all at once! Now I am TERRIBLE at keeping secrets so we scheduled the appt only a few days before my graduation so I didn't have to keep a secret for too long! Ok plans made, now time to find out!

Our prediction: based on all the old wives tales - face acne, super sick, headaches, blah blah everyone kept telling me GIRL! So much so that I started convincing myself and Matt that the baby was a girl. 

We got to the appointment, which My First Peek-A-Boo was so awesome! It was a giant projector almost like a movie theater with a seating area for anyone you brought and then the table to lay down on. Plus the girl was super sweet! We were soooo excited and nervous! We got to see our baby for a little bit and then the technician said oh! I think I can tell but let me get a few more angles to confirm - Matt and I had no idea what she saw lol 

A few minutes later she said YUP! Put a little arrow on the screen and started counting 1,2,3! 


The first thing out of my mouth was OMG I have a penis growing inside me! Hahahahah   We were both a little shocked! Super excited but it didn't sink in right away. She printed us a bunch of pictures (will share below) and off we went - still not really realizing what we just found out haha Oh and Matt got to mark one more boy gender reveal down for the  month of May!

When we got home we were laying down and Matt apparently was hit with realization and sits up and goes it's a boy! We are having a boy! And that was when it really sunk in for both of us! We are super excited for a little baby boy!!

How to tell the good news?! We went to party city and asked them if they can put a balloon inside another balloon. They said they normally don't do that but would try it for us. We did a few tests in the store and it totally worked when we popped the outer balloon, the inside balloon floated away and showed the it's a boy blue balloon. Cool! We got two balloons just in case one didn't work.

Graduation party and mostly everyone was there so time to share!! We brought out the two balloons and said we had an announcement and whoops, I guess 2 balloons makes people think we were having twins! No no! My moms face was like WHAAAT?! Hahaha we quickly clarified and said no no it's just a gender reveal! Hahaha unfortunately both balloons just popped and it didn't actually go off as planned but everyone was able to see that the inside balloon was blue! Yay!!!! 

Per the norm for us, things didn't go exactly as planned but that's ok! We got to share the excitement with everyone and then we got to play the ultrasound video so everyone can see him! 

Thanks to everyone reading these and going on our journey with us! 

We love you little baby boy!! 

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The announcement!!

Time for the fun post of sharing how we told family, friends and co-workers! 

As I mentioned in my previous post, Matt was the first person I told (about 10 seconds after me finding out haha)!

Now one of my co-workers, Debi, who I have worked with for the last 5 years and who knows me really well was the one that kept saying she thought I was pregnant and recommended I go take a test. When I walked into work that Monday morning after finding out I didn't say a word! Debi just looked at me and said, so did you find out Friday or Saturday?! Hahaha she totally knew!! So I was talking to her about it and out of nowhere my branch manager Rudy popped up with this look of OMG!! Hahahaha so Rudy and Debi technically found out immediately haha but then I kept the secret from the rest of work for a few more weeks...

Next up, the parents! We WANTED to tell them all at once but just due to varying schedules it wasn't possible but we decided to use the new house as the way to share the exciting news. 

My mom - So my mom came over the night we got the keys and we immediately started showing her around the house, walked her through the bedrooms and said this is the master, Matt's man cave room, the guest room... And then this is our favorite room... And my mom looked so confused and was like ok? And I said well it's going to be the baby room!! She wasn't getting it hahaha she was like oh cool for later on down the road... And I was like um yeah in about 7 months!! Lol she had to lean against the wall Hahahaha she was very excited and totally cried.

Matt's Mom- That same night we went out to Matt's moms house as she just had back surgery so she couldn't come to our house. We took a bunch of pics of the new house and we ended up showing her on the computer a virtual tour of the house and did the same thing! We were able to tell her, her husband, Matt's brother and his grandma all at the same time since they were all home. They were all very excited and Dillon (bro-in-law) immediately recommended Optimus Prime be the name Hahahaha sorry Dillon not gunna happen Hahahaha 

Matt's Dad - on Sunday when he got back in town we invited him over and did the same tour/announcement to him. He seemed more in shock than anything hahaha I don't think he was expecting that news at all hahahah but he is excited and happy for us! (He just already has 5 grand babies and 2 great-grand babies so I think he was like omg another one!? Haha) 

Bestie Molly - so Molly just got engaged a week before we found out so I was waiting to tell her as I didn't want to take away from her excitement of her new news. But... We planned a wine and plan night!! Eek! How do I tell her all of a sudden I can't drink wine with her?! So I ended up ordering her an adorable wine glass from etsy that says "only the best friends get promoted to Aunt"! When she came over that next Tuesday for our wine night I told her I got her a new wine glass for our house... And gave it to her! She was excited and shocked and even yelled out a "HOLY SHIT!" Which is hilarious given Molly never cusses Hahahaha 

Work - due to having some pretty obvious morning sickness quite a few of my coworkers already figured out the news so at week 9 I bought a box of donuts and put a sign on it and left it in the break room πŸ’• 

Rest of friends and family - we tried to tell as many of our close friends and family personally so that they didn't find out from a generic post on Facebook. 

Planning the Facebook/ Instagram announcement - we emailed Brian from We Run Social right away and asked him if he could make us a baby onesie for our announcement as We Run Social and running together has really been a huge part of our life! He said he would check into it and see what he could do! He obviously delivered because we were sooo excited to share our adorable announcement. We did make a few alternate announcements though as we weren't sure if the onesie would come in time. And a huge thanks to Brian for doing that for us!! 

Here is the different pics we made! 

Hehe well thanks for listening and sharing in our exciting journey! 

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Tiredness, sickness, tests & finally RELIEF!

3/8/16 - I got a call from the Doctor that my glucose test didn't come back with the results they want so they ordered me to do a 3 hour glucose fasted test. That was TERRIBLE! First, they told me I had to stop eating at 9pm and show up at the lab at 8am... I ate my last meal around 7 and was feeling sick all night so I ended up fasting for wayyy too long and then when I got to the lab there was a long wait. By the time the whole thing was over it was almost 15 hours of not eating! My stomach was soooo not happy with me! And fruit punch flavored whatever that stuff is on an empty stomach was πŸ˜–! Anywho... Very appreciative to my mom who took me and stayed with me the whole time to help keep me preoccupied! Thankfully I got the call tonight saying these results came back looking great! Whew! 

First kinda Nerve-racking thing over with! 

Made sure to bring my adult coloring book while we were sitting there haha

Yay! All good!!

3/9/16 - 4/10/16 I don't want to blog too much about the not fun parts of pregnancy as I don't want to really remember it too much but I did want to share that "morning" sickness totally kicked my butt. Thankfully I only ended up actually calling out sick from work twice but to be honest the last couple months were harsh. From constant nausea to actually getting sick from random smells to overwhelming exhaustion. I did find some relief from those ginger mints at Trader Joes and as long as I ate super small meals very frequently it helped me! I joked around with Matt that I have a two bite fine line of starving to too full and sick haha. He was so wonderful with making me breakfast EVERY MORNING so that I woke up and immediately ate! I can't thank him enough! He also picked up all my slack with household chores and there is no way I would have got through these last couple months without him! I hope he knows how much I really appreciate all his help! 

3/22/16 - 4/12/16 We also had a little scare with the genetic testing but we finally got the call that even though I have the gene for Cystic Fibrosis, Matt does not!! Amen!! That was beyond nerve-racking waiting for the blood tests! 

3/22/16 - we finally had our first ultra sound appointment!! Doctor said everything looks healthy, we got to hear a wonderful strong heartbeat! We got to see our little peanut! So crazy that there is really a little person inside me!!!

Ok now all the fun pictures!!

This was my every day view while at work 

Sitting here waiting for the doctor! So excited to see our little peanut!!

AHHH!!!! We got to hear the heartbeat and see a crystal clear picture of our baby!! πŸ‘ΆπŸΌ

First picture of our baby!!!! We confirmed due date is November 1st! 

I was desperate to find whatever will get rid of the nausea 

Thankfully one of the few things that both tasted good and stayed down was actually my Herbalife shakes!!

Ok thanks for reading and sharing in our excitement!! 

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Whoa Baby

2/26/16 - well tonight was interesting! Matt and I had been joking for a few days now that he thought I was pregnant. I wasn't my normal self and hadn't started my time of the month yet. One of my coworkers mentioned just go pee on a stick! So I got home from work today and TOTALLY EXPECTING IT TO SAY NOT PREGNANT decided to sure lets just pee on the stick and move on. I don't know why I did but I did. And sure enough the words "Pregnant" appeared!!! I screamed out for Matt to come in there quick! And wow was I a flood of emotions! Matt was so excited and immediately was hugging and kissing me and telling me how happy and excited and nervous and everything! I was in shock. It took me a while to process. He said he just knew for the last week. I was in shock. Can you tell I am in shock? Don't get me wrong I'm beyond excited but you have to understand our whirlwind with pregnancy... Let me explain...

I was a micro-preemie myself with various health issues all growing up. When I was 10 or so I had little cysts that lined my Fallopian tubes and thankfully whatever medicine I was given shrunk them or something. Anywho at that stage I was told by the OBGYN that because of my micro preemie stature and complications that I couldn't get pregnant and if I did it would be very dangerous for me and the baby. At that moment I accepted that news and grew up thinking ok since I can't have kids I don't want them. I told everyone and anyone that asked that I don't want kids. Why want something you can't have right? Well Matt and I became best friends and started dating (and by dating I mean went to the bowling alley once and he got me the cutest dolphin earrings haha) in 7th/8th grade and I always talked about not wanting kids so he knew and accepted that wayyyy early on and was constantly agreeing with me that he didn't want kids either. Ok fast forward like 11 years and we are now a year into our marriage of course everyone and their brother is asking when we are going to have kids... It always was the usual response are you kidding?? No way!! Not us!! But behind closed doors it was discussed A LOT! Over the next 2 years we talked about how amazing it would be to create a little person, create one of us (oh God that's a scary thought!), see our parents be the amazing grandparents we know they will be, we would joke about how wrapped his dad would be and how excited our moms would be, and let's not even mention how excited our grandparents would be! But we would quickly stop the conversation and say oh well. It's not worth the risks. One night Matt said, hey why don't you go to the doctor and get checked out and see if that is still true? With all the changes in medicine and what not maybe it's not true. Boy am I glad he said that! I literally called and made an appointment the next day. Unfortunately when you aren't pregnant your urgency isn't too present so I had to wait a month for that appointment! During that month our minds were on a roller coaster! We talked about what would happen if they confirm I can't! What would happen if they confirmed I could! Oh my goodness!! The day finally arrived and at the amazing recommendation of a few friends and family I didn't say a word about my previous diagnosis or even mention I was a preemie, I just went in and said hi we are thinking of starting a family and wanted to get checked out and see if I'm ok to! The lady was super nice, congratulated us and checked me out. At the end she said you are perfectly healthy and I don't see why you would have any cause of concern... I then explained to her my history and micro preemie status and she said wow! No, if you wouldn't have told me I would have never known you were a preemie!! I don't know why you were given that information because that wouldn't hinder you at all! If anything because I'm so petite, a c-section might be necessary but that's the only real potential problem. WHAT THE WHAT!? 

Ok so fast forward back to today... About 5 months after that appointment. In 5 months our lives went from constant talk of no babies to OMG we can get pregnant, let's try to get pregnant, omg we are pregnant! Ok now do you understand my shock?? Haha 

When the initial emotions kinda settled down, I thought of writing this blog to keep track of my pregnancy, my thoughts and wishes for this amazing baby that I'm growing inside me! Of course no one can see this until way later but it will be fun to look back on.

Some of the initial reactions:
Like I said Matt was so incredible! Immediately showing me so much love and excitement and calling me an incredible baby maker haha he kept telling brΓ»lΓ©e and pebbles are you girls ready for a human sister or brother?! Momma is making a baby!! Haha he had a little pep talk with brΓ»lΓ©e about how she needs to start being nicer to momma and be a good big sister. We immediately started planning how to tell our family and friends! Oh I can't wait for that part!! I had big cute hopes for how I would tell Matt the day it came and well that flew right out the window haha so I want to make sure the announcement to our parents goes perfect!! We started asking each other if we thought or wanted deep down a boy or girl. We both don't really care either way as long as healthy but Matt is thinking team boy and I'm thinking team girl haha we shall see!! 

Ok well enough rambling from day 1. Here are some pictures from tonight caz if you know me at all you know this next 9 months will be full of photos!!! 

Umm does that say what I think it says?!

We are sooo excited!!

Umm should I pee on like 10 more to make sure?!

Ahh this is really happening! and I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else!! Matt is going to be such an amazing dad! OMG he is going to be a dad! Eep!!!! πŸ’•

3/2/16 - I had my first prenatal lab work done today! I met with the nurse today and confirmed I'm due approximately November 1!!! So I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant! Yay!!! I had to answer a zillion family health questions, was given a packet of information on the first trimester, was told to drink plenty of water and continue my exercising. My treadclimber will be getting plenty of use! Then she sent me down to the lab where I got to drink the oh so delicious (NOT) stuff for the 1 hour glucose test. 
Mmmm... Lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ then of course while I was waiting my hour I got to read all the info they gave me and download the What to Expect App! 
Awww little Baby Tarry is the size of an orange seed! 🍊

Ok time was up! Finally!! Then I went and got all the blood tests drawn. The nurse kept saying aww the first of many mommy sacrifices hahaha oh and did I mention I seriously had to pee like 10x in the 1 hour time span haha apparently that's normal when you are pregnant! Haha

Man I felt drained! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ (too cheesy? Hahahaha) 

Ok that was all the excitement for today. Hubby and I are super excited to tell our parents this weekend! We have some totally adorable ways we plan on doing it! I'll share once we pull it off! πŸ˜πŸ‘ΆπŸΌ 

Oh and as of today only real symptoms are just peeing all the time and slightly sore boobs 😳 After dinner last night at Don Cucos I felt a little nauseous but I immediately started chewing gum and felt better. If there is a way to avoid the morning sickness part that would be awesome! 😜 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Half marathons... Not all it's cracked up to be...

Wait wait before all my running friends freak out let me explain... 

As of yesterday I have completed my 5th half marathon and all 5 of them give me a major sense of pride and accomplishment but for ME, each one was harder and harder to finish and took longer and longer to finish. Why am I writing this? Because I want to let you all know some of the real feelings for me and I'm sure other social media newbie runners. 

With all the social media posts and people talking about FOMO (fear of missing out) and the constant hype around race registrations I'm here to tell you... It's ok to not sign up for all the races and all the medals and especially all the Halfs. There is NOTHING WRONG with doing a 5k or 10k. Crossing any finish line should be celebrated! Accomplish any distance and any time! 

Don't feel that your running accomplishments don't count or don't mean as much because you ONLY did 1 race or only did a 10k. Stop comparing yourself to others. And that advice is totally for me too! 

For me, many training runs haven't happened (yes totally stupid and totally my fault) but the more and more races I did and still crossed the finish line the more I felt well I know I COULD finish so it's ok. It's NOT ok! If you are going to take the big leap to do any race that is considered longer for YOU ( for some that could be jumping from a 5k to a 10k, others to a half, some a full) you have to train! But again, because of all the hype around the races and all the encouragement saying oh it's ok, you'll do great! I still went for it. 

With all these recent realizations and especially after how I felt both physically and emotionally after yesterday's half I have now decided that  
I will not do any more half marathons until I have been able to spend the proper time to train and be able to run the majority of the half so I can not just complete it but running in a race should be fun and not about stressing out over being ahead of the balloon ladies or getting injured. 

That's all I wanted to say. This post doesn't apply to everyone but I know there is probably a few people out there feeling the pressure of signing up for a  big race prior to actually being ready.  

Saturday, December 5, 2015

America, we have a problem

I try really hard to stay out of all the drama, arguments, and other shenanigans online but I felt like I finally need to say a few words...

I don't know if we have gotten worse over the years or if now that I'm getting older I recognize it more or possibly social media is making it more present but...

What is the first thing you do to take down a strong group of people? You try and get them to turn on each other, crumble from within right? Well, congrats America, we are doing it to ourselves!!! I have never seen so many people viciously turn on their own friends, neighbors, cities, etc. We have people crying foul over our law enforcement, threatening the people that are here to protect us! We have people fighting over hypothetical war solutions. We have people even questioning our teachers for the way they educate and give constructive criticism calling it abusive toward those that are sensitive! What the hell is going on?! 

Do you not see it?? Do you not see how we are letting these terrorists win?? When 9/11 happened we came together as a nation, we prayed as a nation, the music industry collaborated to bring unity, the news was not only sharing the most up to date coverage of the terror but there were a multitude of coverage over stories of heroic acts and people helping each other. 

What happened? What changed? 

Now, we have these shootings happening constantly and the first thing we do is point fingers in all directions, start a social media frenzy, the news stations all tell a different version of the story and all you see is the constant negativity and dividing of this great nation and the WORST is all you see is story after story of who the shooter is.

I don't give a flying shit about who the scumbags are, how they grew up, how nice they appeared. Why are we making them celebrities?! Why are we not respecting and honoring the victims and sharing their names and stories? Why are we not sharing tips and education on what to do in the event of an attack so we can minimize casualties? When and why did we allow this to get this level? 

It's not just a political problem, it's not just a religion problem, it's not a gun problem, it's a fucking people problem! 

Why are the people of today so messed up, so disassociated with the value of life, so sensitive to opinions that we can't have discussions? Everything is a heated argument. Everything is a my way or highway stance. With this type of mentality it is no surprise we are crumbling!l

At the end of the day, the underlying theme to every side of every argument is that we love our country, we want to stop seeing these constant (almost daily) attacks in our own backyard, and we want to feel safe again - HELLO AMERICA - we are all fighting for the same thing! 

Stop tearing each other apart! Stop letting these terrorists get the best of us! Stop trying to be so politically correct that the media has 3 days worth of material on why an entire city is in an uproar over the tone of the way something was said! Stop getting so offended! Stop venting every little complaint to the entire world!  Stop sharing the videos of the idiots of the world that have nothing better to do than cause problems and allowing them to become famous! Stop taking everything personally!

Start standing together. Start supporting our nation as a whole. Start making positive impacts in our communities. Make the positive stories, the heroes, the the helpers famous! Turn around our view of this nation. We can do this. Start supporting our local businesses and schools. Start educating our next generation that those who work hard, do right and show respect are the ones who get ahead. 

It is time to change our perspective, it is time to take come together to prevail!